What Else Did Grumpy Experience in Virginia?!

19 August 2013; Castle of the Grump, South King County --

Continuing with the delayed narrative (with pictures) of the saga of Grumpy in Virginia, this post will show evidence of some of the dangers of venturing into the wilderness created by the transposition of the oldest of Grumpy's children from Florida to Virginia.

One of the days that Grumpy visited his 64 year-old Son, he was able to take these photos of a couple of "Missionaries" who dared to come into the jungle clearing representing the aforesaid Son's Native domain. Their "mission" was unclear -- they couldn't explain why they came or who sent them. Their names are unknown, but their initials were J and D.

 

The "Missionaries" soon found themselves in "hot water"! The "Native" [presumably cannibalistic] prodded and poked them down into the "boiling" water -- insuring their being evenly "cooked". Their futile efforts in trying to avoid their plight were without results.

Then, alas!! The one who dared photograph this unspeakable scene was himself a victim of the same fate!! [Apparently the "Native" acquired the camera belonging to this latest "victim".]

What's for Dinner -- in the Jungle

5 August 2013; At the Jungle Outpost of a Native Virginian--

On this day, celebrating the anniversary of a "Native" Virginian's birthday, Grumpy came upon an unusual sight: Two "Missionaries" in hot water. The water is obviously boiling, as you may notice in the center of the "pot". The lower parts of these two hapless guys have apparently been cooked to the point that they can no longer lift themselves out of the hot water.

Soon the "Native", whose cannibalistic tastes placed these two in the hot water in the first place, comes along with a big fork or ladle to stir them around so they cook more evenly. The one Missionary struggles futilely against the Native's determined efforts.

Looking again, we see that another guy has fallen prey to this heathen Native. His agonizing screams pierced the jungle loudly. Lions trembled with fear; elephants stopped their foraging. Other tribes counselled among themselves about  "moving to a different neighborhood".

But no one came to help.

Fifth of July -- A Birthday, A Farewell Breakfast and a Warning for Next Year

5 July 2013; Around Rapid --

Ranch Headquarters on the Cottonwood

This day was my cousin Bitsy's birthday. She entertained her brothers Larry E. and Jimmy E, and sister Kay E as well as Larry's and Jimmy's wives, and Grumpy. We all had a good visit together; Kay N. gave me a 8.5" by 11" colored photo of their ranch down on Cottonwood dated sometime in the early 1940's. It brought back fond memories for me, as I used to treasure the families'  big get-together's (there were five of us kids, three or four Bailey's and at least seven kids in the host family that would be present!) when my Aunt Laura would host a huge three-family luncheon or dinner. As kids, we used to enjoy playing in the hay loft of the barn, or hiking along the creek that flowed just behind the house.

I finished off the day in Rapid, with a dinner and visit with Frances, Larry N., Kay N., and Gary & Cindy. Having failed to test my new water weapon on the intended and persistent "Victim", Grandson of Gary & Cindy, I was reduced to merely passing on, via his Great Grandma Frances and his Grandpa Gary, the veiled damp threat that, "... just wait until next year!" I also disclosed, with the admonition to keep it a secret, the fact that I had "cold-soaked" the  loaded water gun -- chock full of water! -- in the refrigerator overnight. Just in case!!

On my return trip to my cabin on Spearfish Creek, I got to witness this South Dakota sunset as the last day of this visit to my Cousins and friends in the Black Hills ended. Tomorrow I would begin my two-day journey back to Grumpy's Castle. 

4th of July Preparations -- Just in Case!!

3 July 2013; Spearfish Creek Inn --

As many of the readers may recall, Grumpy (and in the "Good Ol' Days" with the Grand Mother) has been invited to the "Annual Fourth of July Backyard Barbeque" at Nephew Gary's abode in Rapid City. In past years, some of Gary and Cindy's younger descendants have "somehow" gotten Grumpy embroiled in water fights. Grumpy doesn't recall how it all started, but the "battle" has seemed to escalate each year.

A couple of years ago, Grumpy "threatened" one of the aforesaid miscreant Grandsons that he (Grumpy) would bring an awesome water weapon to the 2012 event. Said "awesome weapon" was a battery-powered   water pistol which could "fire" ("squirt"?) about 15 or 20 bursts of water in rapid succession. Unfortunately this limited quantity of liquid meant that now it must be reloaded. While Grumpy calmly announced, "Time Out!", to reload, said Grandson took this occasion to move in for the "kill" (drowning!). Thus, while Grumpy won the first "battle", he lost the "water war".

And so we come to 2013, in which Grumpy vowed to this little (10 years old?) Grandson of Gary and Cindy, that he (Grumpy) would bring to this year's festivities an even more awesome water weapon -- just in case! 

Exhibit A, the 2013 Awesome Water Weapon:

(Note large, yellow reservoir and spare batteries)

Tune in tomorrow to hear about the survivors -- if any.

Alaska Adventure; Day Ten

15 June 2013; Juneau AK --

We flew from Anchorage to Juneau via the "everywhere" airline of Alaska, arriving early-enough in the day to do permit considerable investigation of this Capital City of Alaska. Our ferry would take us North to Skagway tomorrow, and the subsequent ferry "cruise" from Skagway to Bellingham WA would not stop in Juneau long enough for deboarding for such purposes.

A museum visit showed a wide variety of kayak paddles used by various different tribes throughout Alaska and the Northern provinces of what is now Canada. Grumpy took this photo, primarily because he suspected that BeBop would be interested. Grumpy also noted the variety of kayak configurations, but could npt get a photo to do justice in showing their features; anyone interested will have to visit Grumpy's home -- or better yet, invite him over for dinner sometime!

A little levity also found its way into the hearts of one or two of the Adventuring Elderly. Here is Grumpy, showing his fiercest face with a poor imitation of the awesome claws of the grizzly bear. Sister also deigned to pose in the faux-grizzly mask. The Brother's wife chose this potentially compromising pose, cuddling up to a seated bear.

At an ever-present-in-every-city "fun house" Sister and Grumpy found a simulated balloon ride which "they" [Grumpy] could not resist. With his Sister aboard, and Grumpy pulling the "Flame Thrower" that heats the air inside the baloon, they took off for a scary flight over glacier and tundra, at last (crash) landing near where they had taken off. No damage, no injuries -- that is the definition of a successful landing!

Finally, after an assault on bone-and-muscle inn a 300-foot series of stairs [at least they weren't built with the monstrous riser and miniscule tread of the Inca!], we arrived at the historic site of this Russian Orthodox church.

Retreating to our motel for the night before the short ferry ride up to Skagway tomorrow, we greeted our comfortable beds with enthusiasm.

Tomorrow, the Alaska Marine Highway (ferry) will take us to Skagway, the 1898-9 stop on the trail to the "promised land" of gold in the Klondike valley of the Yukon territory. [Riches!!]

Reflections on the Great Prairie Safari

·         15 May 2013; Fort Bale WA –

Awakening to a new day, sobered by a good night’s sleep, and mollified by a delicious breakfast of pancake and sausage served by none other than the left-handed, vegetarian Swede, Grumpy began to reflect on his recently-completed safari back to his native prairie. 

Extracting Wild Onions from the hard clay

The original purpose of this trip was to awaken – at 0500 – to smell the Spring prairie flowers Grumpy remembers from his youth. A secondary purpose, since two Great Grandsons and their Mother decided to accompany me, was to provide these two boys an opportunity for some first-hand, hands-on education about the geography, wild life and plants, historical events and places, and country lore from their Great Grandfather’s childhood life.

A proud Great Grandfather and his Great Grandsons

The primary purpose was not achieved because Grumpy failed to do sufficient research to find the optimum time (day or week – not the hour!) to coincide with the appearance of the prairie wild flowers. We were about two or three weeks too early. The entire trip would have been a waste had it not been for the fortuitous decision by Grumpy to include the Great Grandsons on this trip; Secondary purpose was still possible and thus became the Primary purpose.

Aerodynamically-loaded Subaru & Driver

There were even benefits of having the Great Grandsons’ Mother in the Safari Party:

•  Her all-wheel drive Subaru alleviated Grumpy’s concern of getting stuck in mud, snow or sand that we might encounter out in the prairie wilderness.
•  She would be able to provide a relief-driver function so we could make the trip to the prairie in one day.
•  She prepared a large cache of edibles – even some non-tofu based!
•  Being a woman, she could do all of the cooking and cleaning up.
•  She could provide comic relief with her left-handed, “girlie’, Swedish ways.

Well, while she did not fulfill Grumpy’s expectations regarding #2 and #4, she more than compensated with the superb job she did on #5.

Parboiled Great Grandsons in hot tub

A short, informal and very un-scientific poll was conducted by Grumpy this morning, using the question, “What are your highlight memories of this trip?” The results were astounding, if not surprising. Grumpy categorized the responses into two groups: Boys only, and Adults only. The boys ranked “Hot Springs” as their top memory [not a big surprise, since they spent a total of about 12 hours being parboiled in the two hot springs (and two motels with pools) we visited], with Wall Drug as their #2 memory highlight.

Considering what to say -- or not

Caught with mouth open -- again

The Adult category might be misleading in that the participants were a Senior Citizen and a barely dry-behind the ears Swede. However, in the interests of Non-science, Grumpy reports that the #1 consensus of this disparate group was “Enjoying the Repartee of Each Other”. For sure, the Queen Mother’s jibing of her Grandfather-in-law left his memories of this trip a barrel of laughs.

What could be better?

·        

A Day at the Racetrack

Saturday, 26 May 2012; Portland International Raceway --

Although Grumpy "laid some rubber" as he entered the gate onto the straightaway, leading to the infield parking area, he did not make even one lap around this fine race track. Sorry, the "spirit" of doing "some speed" just overcame him momentarily, and he exhibited poor judgement in front of his tallest Grandson.

Instead of watching automobiles roar around the track, this day was for Human Powered Vehicles, and their riders, to challenge each other's speed, endurance and acceleration. The day became both a humbling and a rewarding experience for the Old Grumpy One. But that tale will be told later.

"Gr-rr-r!!" says J.

The night before this event, four men with the "snarkiest-attitudes" toward facing facts, met at Fort Bale for a "gourmet" dinner (Swedish style) and a night of rest and relaxation. Wait, I almost forgot! There was no relaxation for a certain Uncle of two very determined offspring of the Tall One. 

Laughter: Antidote for defeat

First J. challenged the wrestling acumen of Uncle B, a former High School wrestling team member. Each time J. wound up folded and mutilated on the big leather sofa. Laughter seemed to be the antidote for any disappointment in this (inevitable?) take-down by Uncle B.

Stealth approach

Next came A. with the dogged determination of a true crusader. Despite his fierce countenance and unique, stealth approach, he too became wound up and tied in a knot to be deposited on the leather sofa.

The next day, after a (full?) night's sleep at Fort Bale, the caravan left for the PIR, where all four had already registered as competitors. Grumpy was conservative as to what events he would participate in, saving his best for the drag races in which he believed he stood a chance against all three of his young descendants. Yes, his thought was "old age and treachery will overcome youth and skill".

At first Grumpy tried to entice a spirit of true and fair competition from the decades-younger set by offering them what Grumpy thought to be a small handicap, considering his advanced age and decrepitude: give me a 50-foot head start. No takers. 

Race official advising T.O. how to beat Grumpy

Having to do battle manu-ad-manu, Grumpy first challenged the Tall One in his yellow streamlined, wing-tank-looking tricycle. Grumpy's thought was that the extra 100-plus pounds that this monster weighed would sufficiently impede TO's ability to accelerate from a standing start to allow Grumpy to get far enough ahead and capture his first blue ribbon and some bragging rights. 

Well, that strategy failed when the Tall, Gray-haired Grandson actually overcame a slow start to blow past the final gate about two wing-tank lengths ahead of the gritty Grumpy. 

#2 Son blazing away from his Dad without remorse

Oh well; there is still hope -- [the #2 Son is riding a bicycle that is new to him; I'll surely win with my greater skill and experience on this old Raleigh!] Here he is "up in the stirrups" so to speak, blowing by Grumpy before he could even get into second gear. Poor Grumpy -- no one cared about his dejection at being so blatantly humbled, now by two of the fearsome foursome that were "friends" when we came to this event.

Still negotiating the 200M drag race; clarifying the rules

Finally, the B-man came with hat in hand, offering a deal that would grant the Old Grumpy One some "breathing room". B-man would start and run the drag course (200 meters?) in just one gear -- no hands on the handlebars (to effect extra push/pull on the pedals), after getting up to stable speed. What a deal!! Still, it seems that B-man is seen here (right), trying to coax a little "blindness" on the part of the race official overseeing the start of these races. 

Accelerating out of the "chocks", pedal to the metal!

In the end, which Grumpy won by "a nose", B-man probably lost only because he chose a notch too low a gear and "over-revved" his pedals by the mid-point in the race while Grumpy was still able to  squeeze out a smidgen more acceleration as he blew through the final gate -- his final reward for a day of hard work. [Thanks B-Man; you made my day!]

More fun, more laughs and greater rewards are not to be had in any other company than a Grandpa in friendly competition with his Son and two Grandsons -- unless a Great Grandchild or two were to join us, that is! Maybe next year -- we'll see.

Memories from the Past, Recalled by the Present

11 May 2012; Locally --

Once upon a time, there were two brothers, born two years apart; one in August and the other in July. As they grew up in a small town in South Dakota they became "best friends", and were often seen together "goofing off" -- when not embroiled in a "battle of brothers", that is. 

Grumpy is on the left in this picture [Please note my black hair!]

Grumpy found this old black-and-white photo showing us in a "goofy" pose, with arms outstretched, leaning on each other. 

NOTE: the Bearded one on your left is Brother Bob.

Nowadays, about 70 years later, we still lean on each other in undertaking such exciting adventures as flying transcontinental between North and South America, over open ocean and impenetrable jungle.

And we are still "Best Friends".

Strange Characters Appear at Family Christmas Party

Somewhere in "Snoose" Country; Before the Winter Solstice --

As Grumpy reviewed the photographs that were downloaded from his camera after it appeared at the Family Christmas get-together earlier this month, he happened on some views that are seldom seen and should never be left to mold in a mere album. No, these pictures need to be discretely publicized. And so that is what Grumpy will proceed to do!

The first pair of characters to appear from Grumpy's camera were these two, pictured on the right. They appeared to be welcoming the invited guests, but Grumpy thinks they may have been more effective in discouraging any attempt by interlopers who might have tried to crash our party. And they would have too, if they only knew how much fun we had.

Notice the expression on their faces. I believe they are saying "cheese", the usual word used to encourage a smile on the faces of the people whose photo is being taken. Unfortunately, these two Norwegians are saying "cheese" in Norwegian! [pronounced "oost" by we of the English-speaking persuasion.]

The next character is one with whom Grumpy always tries to be pleasing, but seldom succeeds -- (he doesn't understand why??!!). She was commenting that she felt chilly [the majority of the guests had not yet shown up so the party room had not reached the warmth that was acheived later!], so the Blonde Norwegian previously pictured with her husband, graciously offered the headdress you see worn here so well. Actually it is about what you should expect since this gal is the progenitor of the Blonde Norwegian -- the original 1930's version, if you will!

Now, before Grumpy gets into some kind of trouble, he is going to end this post and hope that all enjoy reading it and seeing my goofy photos.

Happy New Year everybody!

Of Little Girls, Tattoos and Tunnels

A Pleasant Saturday; South King County --
Every once in awhile, Grumpy gets in trouble. Usually it is not really his fault (although all of his Grandsons insist that it is!) and this last Saturday was no exception. But Grumpy wants the reader to make the judgment call, based on the following facts:

1. The elder Mermaid strutted out to greet Grumpy, proudly showing off two (2) tattoos! One on her left cheek and one on her left arm.
2. Grumpy counseled the elder Mermaid of the unwise decision she had made in allowing her body to be tattoo'ed.

• "They won't come off!", he told her.
• "Oh yes they will!" exclaimed the eldest Mermaid, giggling.
• Grumpy rubbed the one tattoo on the eldest Mermaid's arm. "See, it doesn't come off!", he said with a concerned look.
• "It comes off in water, silly!", the eldest Mermaid said reassuringly.
• "I don't believe so", Grumpy responded, still worried that his little Great Granddaughter was marred for life.

Now, here it is a week later and the pictures prove that Grumpy was right; the tattoo's are still there!


Meanwhile, as the above "discussion" was going on, the littler Mermaid strove to show her athletic agility by constructing this "tunnel" through which she crawled and, finally, in which she here rests -- undoubtedly tired from squirming through all those tight areas within the "tunnel".

Preparations for The Grand Mother's Arrival in Florida

Sunday in Florida; via Satellite from Florida --
As previously-planned, Son Ward (aka, Popeye, or "One-Eyed Jack") took Grumpy out to various local eateries specializing in seafood, Western music and other such debauchery (NOT including a certain "Hooters" restaurant and Pub). To shield the Grand Mother from the unpleasantry of having to smell Grumpy after he had sated his being with seafood for several days, the plan was to "purify" him in some way. Grumpy did not know what ol' Popeye had in mind though.

The "last supper" of seafood was Saturday night at Red Lobster, where Grumpy had his first feast of wood-fire grilled Grouper, that delicacy of the eastern sea coast and the Bahamas. It was delicious and the company (Peggie, Harry and Grandson Joe) delightful. That meal being over, Grumpy now had to face ... the Cleansing!!

First, ol' One Eye cornered Grumpy out into his back yard -- in plain view of all the neighbors -- in a rather uncompromising state of dress (see Figure 1, right). Next, One Eye "armed" his wife with the business-end (that is the nozzle!) of a garden hose attached to a nearby cold-water faucet. And I do mean COLD!!

Next, One Eye's wife Peggie, turned the cold-water garden hose on me!! (see Figure 2, left) I hadn't realized that the requisite Cleansing would involve cold water torture!
But, I had promised that I would be purified of fishy smells before the Grand Mother arrived, so I had no choice but to stand there and take it like a Man.

What a dutiful husband won't do for his nearly sixty-one year-old wife. Or is that, "his wife of nearly sixty-one years"? [I guess I never did too good in English!]

Thankfully, the trial of cold water was soon over, and Grumpy was able to towel off.

Was this any way for a guest to be treated who had traveled from so far away, thinking to enjoy Southern Hospitality?

What a way to spend a Florida afternoon.

One-Eyed Jack -- er, I Mean Harry

Thursday; via Cable from Florida --

A week and a half ago, Son Ward (aka, "Harry", and hereinafter referred to as "One-Eyed Jack") was diagnosed, by a Seattle Retinologist, with a detached retina in his left eye. Learning of the circumstances of his being a temporary visitor to the Rainier Country, the Doctor advised that his choices were: 1.) To have the surgery done in Seattle and plan to remain at sea-level for the next three to four months until the necessary gas bubble (used for rehab after retina reattachment surgery) could disolve, or, 2.) Get home (in Florida) within a week to have the surgery done there. Thus began the four-day trek described in the preceding four Posts.

The surgery was performed this past Tuesday by a fun-loving (but outstanding eye surgeon) named Doctor Gupta. We who have seen Dr. Gupta all agree that he is "too young", "too handsome" (that's the female comment!), and too fun-loving to be a serious eye doctor. But the facts are the facts: HE IS JUST PLAIN EXCELLENT!!

Old One-Eyed Jack had to walk, ride and sleep with his eyes looking straight down; he was allowed to sleep on his left side -- but looking to his left, as seen above. He kept saying he was OK, and I'm sure he is; he will see Dr. Gupta in two weeks. In the meantime, wife Peggie is instilling drops in his eyes six times a day on Wednesday, five today (Thursday), four tomorrow, etc.

But a picture is worth ten thousand words, so here is Ol' One-Eyed Jack just after having his early afternoon drops today. Is that eye gorgeous or what!? [Don't anyone tell Harry that I posted this, please. He's apt to have me disposed of in the alligator-infested St. John's River nearby!] He's already tried to steal my piece of lemon pie -- and made the weakest excuse of all!! He claimed he was looking for his piece. How lame an excuse is that!!

Just look how innocent he is pretending to be!!

The Grand Mother's Fall

At Home -- Third Week of March 2009:

This week started out with a "bang" -- literally! Mother fell in her room in the wee hours of Sunday morning. Grumpy was sleeping lightly and but didn't awaken with the bang, but did come conscious when he heard something immediately following, which his sleep-benumbed mind categorized as a romantic Tom cat. As it turned out, it was the Grand Mother's best attempt at a scream.

After mulling the "Tomcat" sound over in his mind and being also conscious of maybe hearing a "bump" just before that, Grumpy decided it best to go investigate. Darrell, who sleeps immediately below the Grand Mother's room, had also heard both noises; he and Grumpy arrived at the doorway to Grand Mother's room at the same time. The above photo shows the marks about 3 hours later. The three vertical reddish lines were caused by the contact with an air cleaner; the black and blue area above the right eyebrow was apparently caused by impacting the edge of the same air cleaner. Grumpy thought "this is going to look really bad in about 24 hours later!"

Ha! The next day about 32 hours after the fall, much to the amazement of both of us, it hardly looked worse! One difference, though: note the dark hemorrhage that has moved across to the inner part of her right eye. "This may be a 'doozy' by Tuesday", Grumpy thought half out loud.

"Do you want me to go with you to the Boeing Cronie lunch tomorrow looking like this?" Grand Mother asked, half teasing (maybe?!?).

"It all depends on what you are going to say about your face if someone asks," Grumpy wisely (thoughtlessly?!?) responded.

At the lunch the next day, the Grand Mother sat with her back to the glare of the windows; Grumpy noted that her face discoloration was hardly noticeable in that contrasting light. [Whew!! No embarrassing questions; no opportunity for Grumpy's typically silly (and generally unwise) answers.]

But now, some four days and 15 hours after the fall, look at what has developed!! The vertical reddish lines are nearly indiscernible with a large area of the right side of the Grand Mother's face having turned an ugly, greenish brown color. Maybe Grumpy should suggest she wear a "burqua" (Arabic: برقع‎ ) in public.

Maybe Grumpy should just learn to keep his mouth shut for a change, especially if he ever wants another of one of the Grand Mother's inimitably delectable and delicious Lemon Meringue Pies. Or, if he even wants to keep on living!!

Valentine's Day Lunch with Susan

Valentine's Day Lunch at the Olive Garden --

Our oldest daughter, Susan, ventured down from "Snoose" County to join us for lunch at the Olive Garden. We each had the Olive Garden's inimitable "bottomless" bowl of soup, although the Grand Mother demurred on having the delicious clam chowder enjoyed by our oldest daughter and Grumpy. Besides lunch, we enjoyed a long visit and update on the lives of the Grandchildren and Great Grandchildren of the North.

The Grand Mother (a.k.a., First Wife) also obliquely praised Grumpy to our daughter, for having made a custom Valentine's Day card. He presented this card to her with a steaming cup of morning coffee, accompanied by singing/whistling a "special" song of which both the words and music were written by Grumpy.

Ask Grumpy to sing this special song for you sometime.

Elder Abuse Continues

Tuesday, 28 Jan 2009; Unincorporated King County--
This week started out just like most weeks: pretty good, considering the advanced age of the author of this BLOG. Grumpy was adequately fed by the Grand Mother, the youngest Grandson was not here to give his Grandpa a bad time -- all seemed well!

But it was not to last! First of all, #2 son (who lives nearby and thus takes advantage of opportunities to stay on his Mother's -- the Grand Mother's -- side by mewling over the delicious things she bakes for him and by pointing out that which she cannot see -- and would otherwise overlook! -- that Grumpy does -- or says -- for which she would disapprove) ... where was I? Oh yes, first of all, #2 son started by recalling some long-past and best-forgotten incident wherein "accidents happened", which left a bad taste in other peoples' mouths. Later, he went on to fully expand on his initial hints of the juicy story -- all of this with total disregard to any attempt by me to quietly dismiss the entire episode, much to the dismay of his Father, Grumpy!!

Then today, the Grand Mother presented Grumpy with the final blow to his hopes of recovering from his depression this week by presenting him with the T-Shirt shown in the attached photograph. This from the woman who, for the past nearly 60 years, I have allowed to wash my dirty socks and pick up my mislaid tools and other miscellany! The woman to whom I have given the best years of my life.

[OK! OK! So, maybe there were many of my worst, as well.]
[But, I still love her, no matter what she says! NOTE, I said, " ... no matter what she says!" I didn't mention anything about no matter what she does!]

Grumpy's Snow-Mobile

It is a well-known fact that Grumpy is a fanatic about motorized vehicles. So no one should be surprised that he "just had to" show off his "Snowmobile". Compare its smooth, aerodynamic lines with that of the Buried Bug recently revealed near Amboy. Grumpy thinks that form and function have come together here quite nicely.

It is street-legal and, as may be noted, is fully-licensed for highway use in the State of Washington. Top speed and zero-to-sixty times are classified top-secret.

Grumpy and the Grand Mother cannot boast of the snow depth and rooftop glaciation for which Amboy is famous, so we offer this bit of artistry instead.

Attention Getter

Today was to be a "get-things-done" day at Grumpy's Castle. The trusty "BearCat" chipper shredder was all fueled up and rarin' to go! But first things first: put in those ear plugs!! Grumpy's hearing is bad enough as it is, without taking a chance of making it worse.

After shredding the wheelbarrow-full of prunings Grumpy had removed from the apple tree on a previous non-rainy weekday, Grumpy was just waiting for the stuff to finish re-grinding the coarse stuff that resulted from the first time through, when all of a sudden, there! On the ground. A piece of paper he hadn't noticed before. Oh well, pick it up and throw it in the shredder -- it's still running!

Oops! What's that? Grumpy hadn't noticed that before. Must have blown off the deck. A packaging from something we had bought for Grandson Ramiro the other day. Have to get after that kid for leaving his garbage on the deck to mess up the yard.

Whoa!! What the heck!? A brick!! Now that was not there before!!

Faint voice from "somewhere": "mm-bl-mmm- nch--dy!!"
Grumpy: "Oh, Grand Mother! What do you want?"
Faint voice, louder and now identified as the Grand Mother: "MM --bl - MMMM --NCH --dy!!!"
Grumpy: "What did you say? Just a minute until I get these ear plugs out. There. Now say that again?"
The Grand Mother: "Come and eat; your lunch is ready!"
Grumpy: "Oh, lunch is ready? I'll be right up."

By the way, thanks for missing my head.