How WE (W=Ward, E=Elynor) Met

12 March 2012; Grumpy's Lonely Castle --

A few readers may have heard the story of how the Grand Mother and Grumpy happened to meet each other. Now, at last, the "truth" is revealed! The evidence is included in this Post, in her own handwriting. Yes, you read that right: "in her own handwriting". But read on for the entire -- and true! -- story.

These tidbits of historical writings were found among the treasures stashed away in her belongings. [Grumpy is still looking for that elusive, delicious, delectable, unbeatable Lemon Meringue Pie recipe!]

I suppose it is only fair to start with her version of how she met me -- from her perspective:

She leaves out the fact that she was introduced to me at a football game by my younger sister several days before the "fudge party". Even more to the point, she neglects to mention the severe "boo-ing" she helped to heap upon me a year earlier when I came into a hotly-contested District championship basketball game from which her school had already been eliminated as an unworthy contestant. That was, I believe, the first time she actually saw me.

The first time I saw her was about six or eight months after that basketball game; I was now in the U.S. Navy, home on leave, and watching some kind of high school production with my Mother. The One who became the Grand Mother was dressed in a wedding gown, singing a then-popular song, "I'll Be Loving You, Always".

Of course, she was stunning in the white gown and I asked my Mother who she was. My Mother answered, "She's a girl from Midland; you wouldn't know her." As a Senior in high school the previous year, I had come to "appreciate" that girls from Midland were "wild, snobbish, or otherwise undesirable". So I dismissed this girl as "one of those", and let it go at that.

The fact is, she had transferred from Midland high school to Philip high school the year after I graduated and had become "best friends" with my kid sister, Hazel. Her folks had decided that Philip offered a better quality of education than did Midland. Besides, her sister and brother-in-law had begun teaching at Philip High, and had agree that she could stay with them.

Next, whether fair or not, we have her version of how I met her -- from her perspective:

At the time of the "fudge party", she was going "steady" with a guy named "Flash". Flash had been an underclassman at Philip when I was a Senior; I never learned why or where he got the nickname, "Flash". Anyway, the fact that she would go to a party for the sole purpose of disrupting another young girl's fantasy of enchanting a poor, helpless U.S. Navy cadet should tell the reader a lot about the workings of this honey-blonde-hair covered brain of hers.

In her version, she neglected to mention the fact that she came to the party dressed in a flared skirt topped by a fuzzy white sweater that did nothing to hide the alluring features of her "curves in all of the right places". And me, just an 19-year old, freshly-soloed Naval Aviation Cadet!

All thoughts of "just another Midland girl" vanished from my head and Admiral Farragut's command at the Battle of Mobile bay, "Damn the torpedoes and full speed ahead", or Admiral Dewey's command at the Battle of Manila bay, "You may fire when ready, Gridley", roared through my brain. This was a girl to be reckoned with!

Ultimately, though, it was not her outwardly attractive features which convinced me that "this was the girl I wanted for my wife". It was her sincere, solid inner character that was most attractive: The fact that she gave me respect and honor, accepting my overtures as no other girl had and demonstrating a deep and abiding love that, as time has proven, lasted for a lifetime.

I am still looking for that letter she claims she had kept all these years, where she declares that I asked her to marry her. Perhaps it will be like the ever-elusive Lemon Meringue Pie recipe.

Some More Memories

03 March 2012; Grumpy's Lonely Castle --

The other day, as we were investigating what valuable (sentimentally as well as monetarily) the things that the Grand Mother had stashed away in all of her "secret" hidey holes, Grumpy happened on an especially poignant poem that he wanted to share with the readers. [Grumpy has not read this poem in its entirety until this moment; I only read far enough to realize what a treasure of thoughts and emotions it contains. So I will cry as I write this post.]

As an introduction to showing the scanned images of Grandma's handwritten copy of this poem, the reader should keep in mind that she was with her Mother (Great Grandma Noble) when she died of pancreatic cancer in early summer 1971, after having endured the discomforts of Chemotherapy and perhaps also radiation treatments. [Now, perhaps you can understand why the Grand Mother chose not to have Chemo or radiation treatments for her cancer.]

I will transcribe the words as best as I can perceive them on this wrinkled, old and stained piece of paper:

This is the front side

"My Mother --"

"I held her hand as she died

or rather she held mine.

"It seemed so long.

I could only stand by

watching life flow from her --

So frail she was.

So little and so weak.

"Oh God, how much strength

it takes ....

To die.

And so I stood,

Her hand clutching mine ---

Her every breath a moan.

... and this is the back side.

"My own body

Grew weary 

Ached ---

Until I suddenly remembered

The times when I was little and afraid

And tired and even cross.

What strength there was 

And what comfort, 

Security,

Came to me from Mother.

"And now

My strength is hers.

To comfort, to console,

To reassure."

"Yea, tho' I walk thro' the ..... "

Blessed Jesus!

"Into thy hands I commit ... "

"My mother

I held her hand as she died."

And I held Mother's hand as she drew her last breath. Now I know how she felt when she held her own Mother's hand -- and how she felt as she wrote this poem.

Sincerely, Not so Grumpy

The Grand Mother Recovers at Home

Joy to the World; Grumpy's Castle --

The Grand Mother came home from the "most expensive hotel in Bellevue" (as her Surgeon described Overlake Hospital) on Monday (14 November). Ordinarily, she would have been remanded to a hospice care facility for two or three weeks, with strange nurses and visiting doctors. But due to the fact that, besides this being a stubborn Norwegian and having a similarly opinionated daughter who, besides having her share of Norwegianism also happens to be an R.N., she was "allowed" to come to her own home.

Believe me, having Grumpy as the interim housekeeper was not considered -- nor was it even mentioned!

Grand Mother was so happy to be back home that she told Grumpy that she, "felt like making some Peanut Butter cookies ... " and she even ventured to add, "And I'm thinking about making a Lemon Meringue Pie!" Well, Grumpy was so elated over this good news of a promised recovery that he seriously thought about putting her back in the hospital so they could remove some more of her insides where all that talk about "No more Lemon Pies for eternity!!!" came from.

Of course part of being at home meant some very tender loving from our littlest Granddaughter, "Snicklefrita". Grumpy advised the little one ahead of our arrival that "We must be very gentle with Grandma so her incisions don't get injured." And she was extremely gentle -- and of course, loving. We think it was good medicine for Grandma.

Many visitors popped in over the ensuing days: Our Older daughter (CEO of a custom wire bundle Factory), and her husband helped out over the weekends when the R.N. had to resume her night duties at the hospital in Everett; Be-Pop came a couple of times, bringing his latest "bragging pieces" of knitting projects or colorful glass-works beads that he had created; telephone calls came from the "far East" where oldest Son recently returned from "where he was supposed to be", and from other relatives and from local friends with whom the Grand Mother and Grumpy are associated.

As solid evidence of the amazing progress in the Grand Mother's recovery, here is a "still" picture of her scurrying down the hallway, past the front door (background). This was taken just 16 days after her surgery! Although she is shown using her walker here, she has since "graduated" to going "by cane" -- or even "going it alone"! [Grumpy may have to start behaving or the cane might be used for another purpose!]

Today, we went to an appointment with her Oncologist who gave the Grand Mother the various choices for further treatment if she so chooses. But first there are certain tests to aid in refining the diagnoses and treatment options.

More later.

Major Surgery -- The Grand Mother is Recovering

Ides of November; Doctors' Offices, Hospitals and Home --

Shakespeare wrote a line, "Beware the Ides of March", but Grumpy has plagiarized this line to say, "The Ides of November have been almost as bad." 

On 7 November, the Grand Mother had an Endoscopy [accent on the first "o"], in which a camera was poked down her throat into her stomach to view the lining, and a biopsy was taken of a swollen ulcerated area partially blocking the outlet of the stomach.

On Wednesday, 9 November, we went for the reports by an Oncologist and a Surgeon -- the biopsy had revealed that the tumor (the cause of the swollen, ulcerated area) was malignant. Surgery was scheduled for the following Wednesday, 16 November.

Waiting to hear the Oncology and Surgeon diagnosis and plan

Early the next morning, the Grand Mother told Grumpy that she had lost her supper of the night before and that she felt  major distress in her stomach; this meant that nothing was going through, and so off to Urgent Care we went. After a couple hours' testing and consultation with a doctor on duty -- who just happened to be the Surgeon with whom she had talked several hours before! -- she was ordered transferred to the hospital next door for emergency surgery.

Julius Caesar was assassinated in Shakespeare's play; the Grand Mother came too close, for Grumpy's comfort, to "cashing in her chips" that Thursday night following laparoscopic removal of the large cancerous tumor which had ulcerated the wall of her stomach, and had also blocked off the exit, causing the distress she had endured that morning. Half of her stomach, as well as the duodenum were removed with all of the cancer, including three lymph glands that also contained cancer cells. Thirteen additional lymph glands were also removed, and were determined to be "negative" for cancer cells; her surgeon reported that the boundaries of the tumor were free of extensions. This information suggests that her body is now completely free of cancer. This is an excellent prognosis for her future! 

[So, she can safely withhold her secret Lemon Meringue Pie recipe from Grumpy awhile longer without fear that it be lost to posterity.]

After the surgery, she had difficulty resuming breathing as she was coming out of the anesthesia, but the skilled surgeon and others in attendance, with same assistance from a positive breathing apparatus, were finally able to get her breathing on her own after about an hour of effort.

The Grand Mother in ICU [note tubes and monitor wires behind her neck]

Mother came home on Monday -- under normal circumstances, she would have been moved to a qualified nursing home until she was able to act completely independently. However, with two daughters (one a licensed Registered Nurse), her doctor deemed that she would be better off at home than any place else! [And, she told Grumpy that she was "thinking about" making Peanut Butter cookies for him, and that she "wanted to" bake him a Lemon Meringue Pie! Now, how great is that!!]

 

[I wonder if the removal of that cancer somehow deluded her mind? Could she have forgotten all the transgressions of which Grumpy is always so blatantly guilty?? Maybe that cancer was also a "memory chip" that, once removed, was no longer readable!!]

Finally, on the fifth day of being back at home, and eating liquefied and "mooshy" foods, the great day we were all awaiting arrived: Proof that "all systems are go!"

After

Before

These "before and after" pictures tell the story; a great celebration was held with dancing in the streets (surely somewhere), fireworks (aplenty), and of course hugs and kisses.

More stories may be told in the future days as the Grand Mother reaches her full capacity to monitor the Grumpy's activities and mischief; who knows what may transpire?! 

Stay tuned!!

Strange Characters Appear at Family Christmas Party

Somewhere in "Snoose" Country; Before the Winter Solstice --

As Grumpy reviewed the photographs that were downloaded from his camera after it appeared at the Family Christmas get-together earlier this month, he happened on some views that are seldom seen and should never be left to mold in a mere album. No, these pictures need to be discretely publicized. And so that is what Grumpy will proceed to do!

The first pair of characters to appear from Grumpy's camera were these two, pictured on the right. They appeared to be welcoming the invited guests, but Grumpy thinks they may have been more effective in discouraging any attempt by interlopers who might have tried to crash our party. And they would have too, if they only knew how much fun we had.

Notice the expression on their faces. I believe they are saying "cheese", the usual word used to encourage a smile on the faces of the people whose photo is being taken. Unfortunately, these two Norwegians are saying "cheese" in Norwegian! [pronounced "oost" by we of the English-speaking persuasion.]

The next character is one with whom Grumpy always tries to be pleasing, but seldom succeeds -- (he doesn't understand why??!!). She was commenting that she felt chilly [the majority of the guests had not yet shown up so the party room had not reached the warmth that was acheived later!], so the Blonde Norwegian previously pictured with her husband, graciously offered the headdress you see worn here so well. Actually it is about what you should expect since this gal is the progenitor of the Blonde Norwegian -- the original 1930's version, if you will!

Now, before Grumpy gets into some kind of trouble, he is going to end this post and hope that all enjoy reading it and seeing my goofy photos.

Happy New Year everybody!

Gosh a'Mighty, Grandma turns Eighty!!

Best Chinese Restaurant; 18 October 2010 --

The years have rolled by and the Grand Mother and Grumpy have grown older [and wiser?]. The Grand Mother's 80th birthday happened this day; Grumpy, wanting for it to be extra special, invited all members of the family who live in the State. They were the only ones who could practically come to the site of the celebration: the Best Chinese Restaurant this side of San Francisco -- or Boston.

And it was to be a surprise! In this, Grumpy was completely successful. You see, the reservations were made for six o'clock and everyone was told that it was to be a surprise. Grumpy waited until late Monday afternoon when he casually invited the Grand Mother for a date to eat out. [Leaving home to go to  the restaurant at six o'clock!] Fortunately, she accepted!! [Grumpy had no "plan B", in case she had refused the invitation. Talk about taking one's wife for granted!]

As Grumpy entered the restaurant, he was greeted by the usual question of "just two?", to which Grumpy lied, "Yes, just two." The matre d' offered a table close to the front, convenient for Grandma, who was wielding a cane. Grumpy ignored the offer, of course, as he spotted the invited crowd at the far end of the dining area. As soon as we were spotted, they began to sing, "Happy Birthday to you ... " and Grandma looked like the proverbial "deer in the headlights".

After gorging ourselves on a wide variety of Chinese dishes, a birthday cake, baked by the oldest Granddaughter, was revealed complete with ice cream spirited in by the oldest daughter. Two large candles ["8" and "0"] on the cake showed the true age of this Matriarch of our family. [Were we actually responsible for this great group!?]

Eight Great Grandchildren (evenly divided between girls and boys) and four Grandchildren were counted, making for a lively -- even joyously raucous at times! -- time for all. [Anyone notice that the dining area had cleared out sometime before we left?]

To Monya goes the credit for all photos included in this POST. As is becoming more usual these days, Grumpy forgot to bring his camera to record this historic milestone.

Thanks Monya! And thanks to everybody who came and to those who, not being able to come, nevertheless sent their greetings to the Great, Grand Mother. Our oldest, living in Florida, called the Grand Mother shortly after we had come in and sat down.

Continuing Saga of the Lemon Meringue Pie -- Episode III

Grumpy's Castle; 7 June 2010 --

As all regular readers of this BLOG already know, Grumpy has (from time to time) grumbled about his deprivation of his favorite after-dinner (or before dinner, or between meals -- even lieu of breakfast!!) treat: the Grand Mother's unequalled, delectably-delicious Lemon Meringue Pie. You also recall Grumpy's earlier attempts at convincing his eternal Wife of her need to let Grumpy transcribe her recipe -- and her Norwegianly- stubborn refusal to do so as far as Grumpy was concerned. Her infamous excuse? That Grumpy would simply have it for his mythical next wife (Red-Headed, of course).

Well, today marks a turning point: Today, the 7th day of June, in the year of our Lord 2010, the Grand Mother finally conceded to let Grumpy observe the whole process of making this famously delicious concoction! Grumpy was ecstatic! Now the recipe would finally be immortalized for posterity!!

The first step in the process involves the "zesting" of the lemons. This is a tedious task that Grumpy typically does to help her with the time- and utensil-consuming process. Grumpy enjoys this job, primarily because the thought of the climax to this process causes his salivary glands to start aching with joyous anticipation!

The entire process of making the crust is not shown, simply because it is the very simple procedure of making a soft dough of water and flour and then, after working it thoroughly to ensure it is well mixed together, roll it firmly out onto a flour-covered cloth to make a suitably-sized layer, as shown here, into (or maybe onto?) which to pour the lemon-pie filling.

Again, the procedure for making the filling involves dirtying at least 52 utensils such as bowls, spoons, forks and knives, not to mention a candy thermometer, the KitchenAid mixer and the ceiling (Grumpy's certain result). Besides, the filling is well-documented elsewhere (here and here). So no need to repeat it again.

And this is what the final result is supposed to look like this (a previously photographed pie):

Grumpy's elation at being finally allowed to witness the whole process and thereby be able to replicate this delicacy, in the unfortunate event that the Grand Mother becomes incapacitated to do it herself, was quickly deflated when the Grand Mother commented: "I'm not worried about you watching me make a Lemon Meringue Pie; you are so forgetful that you won't remember it anyway!"

She didn't have to say that!!

The Last Word

Sunday at Church --
This past Sunday before services, an old friend came over to where we were sitting. I introduced him to my Granddaughter, my Daughter and Son-in-law who had come with us after joining us for an early breakfast. I then introduced my friend to my Bride, who does not regularly attend with me and who I assumed he might not know.

I introduced the Grand Mother as "my First Wife".
He greeted her and asked, "And what do you think about being the first wife?"

"I don't know; I haven't met the others yet," she responded sweetly but firmly.

Grumpy and his friend collapsed in laughter and were struck speechless with the brassiness of this unexpected, out-of-the-blue retort! Grumpy is rethinking his mischievously referring to the Grand Mother as his "First Wife" in the future.

Mother's Day 2010

SuSunday, 9 May 2010; Mother's Day --

This day started out with a cloudless sky; the Olympics gracing the western horizon, as Grumpy and the Grand Mother motored North to meet oldest daughter and her husband for breakfast. The eye-squints, especially with the GM's eyes, are a sacrifice Grumpy made in order to include the sign in the background designating the location where we enjoyed our breakfast together.

Once inside -- up two steep flights of stairs!! -- we found a "homey" setting. This restaurant was fashioned from a modest single-story home built on the original ground level --  about 15 feet above the street which was cut later to eliminate a rather sharp hill that had previously impeded thru-traffic visibility.

The Grand Mother bravely made her way up the stairs without complaint and we were soon seated in a cozy corner of what was probably once the dining room in the original home -- now with space for two-person tables in two other corners.

The service was excellent, considering that at this late-ish opening hour (0830), the place was immediately half filled, and, because of being unfamiliar with the menu, we were not ready to order when our waitress first came. However, our coffee cups and water glasses were kept full. We each enjoyed our choice from the menu; the Grand Mother had her old favorite, Eggs Benedict. Each of our choices included the specialty of the chef: garlic mashed potato patties. [Later, at church, Mother noticed a lady recoil as she visited with her! The garlic mashed potato patties must be Antisocialist.]

Despite the delightful company and atmosphere, we agreed [after the agonizing trek back down that double flight of stairs] that we will not be going back to this restaurant. Once was enough.

Proud Grandmother; A Grandson's Big Risk — or Bravery

15 January 2010; Mechanicsville, Maryland, USA --

Posted by Grumpy, but a story written by the Grand Mother:

Some time ago, I wrote about a Grandson who stopped his work to rescue a baby bird  who was being hunted by a poisonous snake(see Bird Brain, Wondrous Intelligence).  Climbing high in a tree, he was able to grab the snake by the tail and hurl it to the ground where his friend killed it.  Bravery or Big Risk?  The Mother bird allowed him to continue his work, installing windows near the nest where her baby was located — after the snake was destroyed.

Life moves on and now I have an addition to this story about this Grandson, with the one told to me recently by my oldest son.  It will be up to the reader to determine if this one was bravery — or was it a big risk?

_______________________________________________

A WOULD-BE HIGHWAY HIGH-JACKING!

After a hard day at work, installing custom windows at two locations, Ray and his supervisor were heading home on the crowded freeway.  Ray was driving the truck at about 60 mph, imagining the smell of a good, hot meal, which would be waiting, and the happy smiles of a little boy who was happy his Daddy would be home to play with him.  Suddenly a number of cars were applying brakes, changing lanes abruptly, and some even were heading to the ditch.

"What in the world is going on?" asked Ray's supervisor.  They had slowed considerably when Ray spotted the trouble.  A man was in the center of the roadway, trying to car-jack a vehicle. He tried getting in with an older man — he tried with a young lady — and he was still running up to slowing cars, trying to get inside. 

Ray sized up the situation and said, "Let's stop him!"

They pulled off the side of the road and stopped.  Then the supervisor yelled, at the man, "What do you think you are doing?"

The would-be car-jacker looked up, startled, and then started running away into the nearby woods like a streak of lightning.  Ray said, "You scared him away.  We could have had him!"

They pulled back on the freeway and continued home safely.  They were sure that calls had been made to notify the police of the problem, but they did not stay to find out if anyone came.

_______________________________________________

Even though my "Mother's heart" skips a beat when I realize the potential danger they faced — the heavy traffic plus the distraction of the car-jacker's activities — yet they were willing to try to stop him from harming anyone.  They took the time to stop — to delay their trip home — put off the warm shower they had been anticipating to soothe their tired muscles from a day of hard work.  They are the epitome of the American citizen who cares about what happens in their country.  They do not fear standing alone, if necessary, to stop a wrong.  I am thankful the ending was quick and no one was injured in an accident or from any physical confrontation.  I am proud to know that my Grandchildren value their country and are willing to defend what is right.

When my son, Ray's Dad, was younger (perhaps a pre-teen at that time), he observed some kids crawling around on the roof of an elementary school.  He quickly ran home, called the police and told them what he had seen.  When asked for his name, he responded he would rather not tell because he feared they may retaliate.  The police assured him they would not reveal his name — but, in fact, they did.

The boys had entered the school and were preparing to do some vandalism when the police located them.  They found out who had called — and threatened they would get even.  Our son responded that was fine with him; he would call his friends and would meet the vandals anytime and anywhere. The confidence that he exhibited, deterred them from further confrontation. 

Because my son was willing to interrupt what he was doing and make the report, the school did not have extensive damage.  These values were passed on to his children.  I am proud and honored to be the Mother, and Grandmother of these brave men.

I mentioned to my son that I wished more people were aware of things like this to motivate them to stand up for what is right.  He told me, "That is why I am telling you — you'll tell this story to everyone!"

And so now I have! 
Signed,  —  by a proud Mother and Grandma

Highlights of Our Week's Vacation in Florida

June 29th to July 6th 2009; via Satellite from Florida --

The Grand Mother (aka, First Wife) and Grumpy (aka, Grumpy old man) spent a memorable week here visiting our oldest son One-Eyed Jack (aka, Popeye, Harry, also Son Ward) and his wife Peggie with grandson Joe (the Geek). This post will present photos representing the highlights during our time here.

The Grand Mother chose to fly down here to Florida rather than enjoy the adventure of riding the 3,100 miles in an UNairconditioned pickup, driven by two men who, together could claim three eyes and three ears. But before going to the airport to meet the Grand Mother, Grumpy had to undergo a transformation which would "purify" him from the smell of fishes and other accumulations which seem to thrive on a Grumpy old man who is away for a time from the "civilizing influence" of his First Wife:

Yes, before becoming "suitable" for greeting the Grand Mother, Grumpy had to endure a cold-water torture, administered by a fully-loaded garden hose gleefully aimed by Peggie, in One-Eye's back yard! This short, unedited slide show reveals the truth.

June 29th: The Grand Mother arrives! After her happy, surprised expression in spotting Peggie, she looked Grumpy's way and gave him a big smile. As he drew closer for a welcome kiss, she said, "Pee-yew!! You have a beard!" Grumpy later gave a "lame excuse" about "forgetting his razor" -- it didn't pass muster.

June 30th: Breakfast at the Waffle House! The unique nomenclature for each egg and hash browns combination is half the fun in coming to a Waffle House. Grumpy had his two eggs over easy with "regular hash browns, scattered, smothered, and capped" (spread out with onions and mushrooms).

Early evening, June 30th: The "Trumpet Flower" only blooms at night. This photo was taken in the early evening just as the flower was beginning to open. Grand Mother's hand, holding the flower for better view and size comparison shows how huge this flower is!

July 1st: Old St. Augustine. The day-long walking tour (autos are forbidden!) in Old St. Augustine was made pleasurable by the Grand Mother being saved from the torture of walking by riding in a wheelchair. Grumpy and One-Eyed Jack got their exercise this day by being the motive power. Peggie and her sister, Gwennie, also took turns.

July 2nd: Dining at "Clark's Fish Camp". This was an unforgettable experience, not to be missed!!

July 3rd: A quiet day during which Grumpy was able to update this BLOG as well as finally getting his long-missed afternoon nap!

July 4th: The One-Eyed one fired up the old barbeque and prepared a delicious feast of steaks like the which no one else can fix. Peggie and the Grand Mother slaved away in Peggie's kitchen putting together accompaniments, including Peggie's potato salad, a cucumber and onion salad, and a fresh-fruit salad. The day's eating was topped off with a dessert of hot Apple Crisp served ala mode.

July 5th: One-Eyed Jack took us for a ride in the country to go Alligator hunting. We spotted no Alligators, but we saw some beautiful flowers and one rare, old turtle who obliged by posing for his (her?) portrait. He(she?) is a "Florida Gopher Tortoise", an endangered species of an unusually large size and probably an advanced age (they live 60-100 years!).

July 6th: Our last day in Florida, we did some last-minute shopping for things we might need on our flight back to Seattle (snacks on the airplane, souvenir post cards, etc) and then had an early lunch at "Chick-fil-A", a fast food place that serves real lemonade and where someone comes around near the end to ask how everything was, handing out moist cleanser pads to dry-clean our fingers and faces after the delicious repast.

And then, on the way back to the Retirement Castle on the Hill, we spotted this stork standing nonchalantly beside a local storm-water holding pond! We first cautiously took some pictures through the open window of the car, but then decided to "take our chances" on an even better shot without the obstructions of a chain-link fence. This final shot was taken with the camera lens poking through the opening in the chain-link; the stork was totally nonplussed!!

And now to bed; we must get up and be on the road at 0400 tomorrow morning for the 150 mile drive to Orlando International Airport for our flight home.

The Grand Mother Arrives!!

Orlando International Airport; via Satellite from Florida --

After "patiently" waiting for over an hour, Grumpy was finally greeted by the smiling face of the Grand Mother as she arrived in her "carriage" that met her at the airplane and carried her to the eager arms of her welcoming hosts.

As Grumpy came closer and she could see him more clearly, the Grand Mother muttered "Phew! You have a beard!!"

"And you smell like fish!" she added sternly. She evidently didn't appreciate all the pain and suffering to which Grumpy had subjected himself just the day before to try to become "purified" for her imminent arrival. [Such is my fate!]

We were soon ensconced in Son Ward's luxury-bedecked Chrysler "limo" heading back towards "the Hill" where they live in Florida. After a few miles, Grumpy complained about the overly-cozy warmness of the fancy leather seat in which he was sitting. His overheated comfort was soon found to be the result of his having inadvertently switched the heated seats to "ON"! Just what you don't need in summertime Florida!!

Very heavy rain, which the windshield wipers at high speed could not dissipate fast enough, obscured One-Eyed Jack's vision so that our speed was somewhat subdued below the typical 5-10 miles per hour over the speed limit that Floridians usually travel. Nonetheless we soon made it to the Retirement Castle on the hill.

After some late night visiting, the "Old Folks" retired to the comfort of our bed and caught some welcome sleep.

Preparations for The Grand Mother's Arrival in Florida

Sunday in Florida; via Satellite from Florida --
As previously-planned, Son Ward (aka, Popeye, or "One-Eyed Jack") took Grumpy out to various local eateries specializing in seafood, Western music and other such debauchery (NOT including a certain "Hooters" restaurant and Pub). To shield the Grand Mother from the unpleasantry of having to smell Grumpy after he had sated his being with seafood for several days, the plan was to "purify" him in some way. Grumpy did not know what ol' Popeye had in mind though.

The "last supper" of seafood was Saturday night at Red Lobster, where Grumpy had his first feast of wood-fire grilled Grouper, that delicacy of the eastern sea coast and the Bahamas. It was delicious and the company (Peggie, Harry and Grandson Joe) delightful. That meal being over, Grumpy now had to face ... the Cleansing!!

First, ol' One Eye cornered Grumpy out into his back yard -- in plain view of all the neighbors -- in a rather uncompromising state of dress (see Figure 1, right). Next, One Eye "armed" his wife with the business-end (that is the nozzle!) of a garden hose attached to a nearby cold-water faucet. And I do mean COLD!!

Next, One Eye's wife Peggie, turned the cold-water garden hose on me!! (see Figure 2, left) I hadn't realized that the requisite Cleansing would involve cold water torture!
But, I had promised that I would be purified of fishy smells before the Grand Mother arrived, so I had no choice but to stand there and take it like a Man.

What a dutiful husband won't do for his nearly sixty-one year-old wife. Or is that, "his wife of nearly sixty-one years"? [I guess I never did too good in English!]

Thankfully, the trial of cold water was soon over, and Grumpy was able to towel off.

Was this any way for a guest to be treated who had traveled from so far away, thinking to enjoy Southern Hospitality?

What a way to spend a Florida afternoon.

A Bird Brain; Wondrous Intelligence

Thursday telephone call; A story from Maryland --

(This story was written by the Grand Mother, as told to her by the Far Fetched Son, recently retired and now busy planting orange trees and flowering shrubs in his yard in Florida.)

Our grandson, Ray, recently was installing some insulated windows. Working high on a ladder, he noticed a bird chirping nearby. The sounds got louder and more frantic. Looking around, Ray spotted a nest in a near-by tree. He could see some eggs in the nest and also saw the Mama bird nearby making all the noise. In a soothing voice, Ray spoke to Mama Bird, reassuring her he was not going to harm her nest or eggs. Still the chirping went on and grew louder and more frantic.

Ray's boss and his wife were below and had also heard all the noise. Looking up, the wife saw a snake crawling up the tree, approaching the nest. Frantically she called, “Ray, there is a snake crawling up the tree to get the bird's eggs. Can't you do something?!”

Quickly Ray looked around and soon spotted the snake slithering up the tree. Climbing down the ladder, Ray quickly climbed up the tree. When he was high enough so he could reach the snake, as quick as a flash of lightning, he grabbed the snake by the tail and flung it harshly to the ground. Ray's boss promptly killed the snake

When Ray climbed down, the wife profusely thanked him for his bravery and quick reactions. Ray's boss remarked, "Ray, you're crazy!"

Ray told his boss he wasn't really crazy as he had previously had some experience handling snakes. The boss commented, "You knew it was a Water Moccasin when you saw it, didn't you?"

"Yeah", Ray replied. I knew that, but remember I have had experience handling snakes."

"You're still crazy!" growled his boss.

Ray went back up the ladder and resumed his work. After a short while, he glanced again at the nest nearby. There sat Mama Bird, looking at him in a contented way, and perfectly quiet.

If that is an example of a bird's brain, I'd say the bird was quite intelligent.

From a Grandmother's perspective I would comment, "Ray, you better take better care of yourself or I won't let you keep you!" (Old Family Saying)

Lemon Pie Reprise (End to an Eternity!!)

Friday, 30 April 2009; In South King County --

Well, dreams really do come true ... sometimes! In Grumpy's case, his dream was at least one more of the Grand Mother's delectably delicious Lemon Meringue Pies before he checked out of this Earthly tour. Unfortunately for the prospects, however, the Resident Grandson somehow just kept getting Grumpy in trouble with his First Wife, and the dreaded words would be uttered, "No more Lemon Meringue Pie forever (translation: one eternity)." Of course, the Grandson got great satisfaction from hearing these words -- no noticeable sympathy at all for his poor old Grandpa. In fact the Grandson was even heard to urge his Grandmother to add on another eternity or two!! [No sympathy whatsoever!]

As I was saying, Grumpy's dream came true today when the Grand Mother offered up one (1) of her infamous (best in the World, believe me!!) Lemon Meringue Pies. And there is no Grandson around to steal the biggest piece!! The Lone Son who is here says that his favorite pie is the Grand Mother's Apple pie. She baked one of those the other day and there is still a piece of it left, so Grumpy anticipates absolutely no competition in his devouring of this golden-topped beauty. Yes, there will be a stomach ache tonight!! Plenty of TUMS on hand, though, so Grumpy does not expect to suffer too badly!

Now the Grand Mother opined that this was not a good-looking example. Grumpy disagrees [she says I disagree with her "all the time"!]. Not only does it look good like it should, but even if it didn't, Grumpy knows that it is the inside of the Lemon Meringue Pies that the Grand Mother bakes, which is the part that really, truly counts!!

I'll tell you in the morning how good it was. And I should probably also tell the Grand Mother that she needs some more practice -- so that she will be in good form to bake two or three for her First Retiring Son when he arrives in early June.

Or maybe Grumpy should just learn to keep his mouth shut. Except to eat some pie, that is.

Who Really Has the Green Thumb?

Around Home; South King County --

Grumpy was surveying his castle today when he couldn't help but notice the lush foliage being cultivated by the Grand Mother right under his eyes (in the Kitchen). Now this would not have been so amazing if said Grand Mother hadn't become known far and wide as a sentence of death to anything belonging to the genus "flora". She has been more favorable to the likes of "fauna" -- mainly belonging to the feline family.

Pictured above is the object of my admiration: a miniature African Violet given to his Mother several years ago by BoPop. At the time, BoPop was working for a small software company in Bellevue and was propagating these little beauties in prolific numbers, using cuttings from a parent violet that had been given him earlier. He cultivated these little beauties in a miniature earthen pot which in turn was closely-fitted inside a plastic vessel. The external plastic vessel provided a reservoir for nutrient-rich water which kept the violet happy -- as long as the reservoir was maintained at a suitable level of water (and soluble fertilizer).

Grumpy thinks the Grand Mother has done an outstanding job of taking care of this African Violet in all ways which it obviously likes. Just look at those big, deep pink flowers and multiple buds showing on this top view!

Grumpy is jealous!!

Look, now at the standard African Violet that Grumpy has been caring for since the Grand Mother received it for her birthday in October last year. When received, the leaves were a healthy deep green and the flowers were each as big as a Silver half-dollar! Under Grumpy's questionable care, all of the original big green leaves have been replaced by the much smaller leaves now seen; it bloomed again early this year (flowers about the same size as those currently proudly-showing on the miniature violet!), but shows no signs of new buds setting on.

As you may perceive from the photograph, Grumpy has the violet in the original plastic pot in which it came, sitting in a shallow sauce dish in which he maintains a reservoir of water varying in depth from one to zero inches. This violet is kept in a somewhat cooler location: the Master Bathroom window, where it enjoys a mildly-moist environment and filtered sunshine during morning hours on days when such exists in Seattle.

Somebody: Please give Grumpy a hint as to what he is doing wrong!?

The Grand Mother's Fall

At Home -- Third Week of March 2009:

This week started out with a "bang" -- literally! Mother fell in her room in the wee hours of Sunday morning. Grumpy was sleeping lightly and but didn't awaken with the bang, but did come conscious when he heard something immediately following, which his sleep-benumbed mind categorized as a romantic Tom cat. As it turned out, it was the Grand Mother's best attempt at a scream.

After mulling the "Tomcat" sound over in his mind and being also conscious of maybe hearing a "bump" just before that, Grumpy decided it best to go investigate. Darrell, who sleeps immediately below the Grand Mother's room, had also heard both noises; he and Grumpy arrived at the doorway to Grand Mother's room at the same time. The above photo shows the marks about 3 hours later. The three vertical reddish lines were caused by the contact with an air cleaner; the black and blue area above the right eyebrow was apparently caused by impacting the edge of the same air cleaner. Grumpy thought "this is going to look really bad in about 24 hours later!"

Ha! The next day about 32 hours after the fall, much to the amazement of both of us, it hardly looked worse! One difference, though: note the dark hemorrhage that has moved across to the inner part of her right eye. "This may be a 'doozy' by Tuesday", Grumpy thought half out loud.

"Do you want me to go with you to the Boeing Cronie lunch tomorrow looking like this?" Grand Mother asked, half teasing (maybe?!?).

"It all depends on what you are going to say about your face if someone asks," Grumpy wisely (thoughtlessly?!?) responded.

At the lunch the next day, the Grand Mother sat with her back to the glare of the windows; Grumpy noted that her face discoloration was hardly noticeable in that contrasting light. [Whew!! No embarrassing questions; no opportunity for Grumpy's typically silly (and generally unwise) answers.]

But now, some four days and 15 hours after the fall, look at what has developed!! The vertical reddish lines are nearly indiscernible with a large area of the right side of the Grand Mother's face having turned an ugly, greenish brown color. Maybe Grumpy should suggest she wear a "burqua" (Arabic: برقع‎ ) in public.

Maybe Grumpy should just learn to keep his mouth shut for a change, especially if he ever wants another of one of the Grand Mother's inimitably delectable and delicious Lemon Meringue Pies. Or, if he even wants to keep on living!!

Elder Abuse Continues

Tuesday, 28 Jan 2009; Unincorporated King County--
This week started out just like most weeks: pretty good, considering the advanced age of the author of this BLOG. Grumpy was adequately fed by the Grand Mother, the youngest Grandson was not here to give his Grandpa a bad time -- all seemed well!

But it was not to last! First of all, #2 son (who lives nearby and thus takes advantage of opportunities to stay on his Mother's -- the Grand Mother's -- side by mewling over the delicious things she bakes for him and by pointing out that which she cannot see -- and would otherwise overlook! -- that Grumpy does -- or says -- for which she would disapprove) ... where was I? Oh yes, first of all, #2 son started by recalling some long-past and best-forgotten incident wherein "accidents happened", which left a bad taste in other peoples' mouths. Later, he went on to fully expand on his initial hints of the juicy story -- all of this with total disregard to any attempt by me to quietly dismiss the entire episode, much to the dismay of his Father, Grumpy!!

Then today, the Grand Mother presented Grumpy with the final blow to his hopes of recovering from his depression this week by presenting him with the T-Shirt shown in the attached photograph. This from the woman who, for the past nearly 60 years, I have allowed to wash my dirty socks and pick up my mislaid tools and other miscellany! The woman to whom I have given the best years of my life.

[OK! OK! So, maybe there were many of my worst, as well.]
[But, I still love her, no matter what she says! NOTE, I said, " ... no matter what she says!" I didn't mention anything about no matter what she does!]

Happy New Year 2009

Home in South County:

The Grand Mother and Grumpy spent New Year's Eve snuggled in our warm home watching the celebrations in the "new" Grand Ol' Opry house in Nashville TN via NPR. Garrison Keillor was holding forth in his usual casual fashion, with numerous male and female singing and instrumental guests performing mostly folk music. Darrell entertained thoughts of "dying if he had to listen to any more of that horrible music". The Grand Mother tolerated it; Grumpy reveled in it!! [Well, admitedly, some of the female singers were only barely tolerable even by Grumpy, who generally likes old-time folk music!]

One of the instruments used was a Dobro; Grumpy had heard the name before -- there is even a folk song about "When Daddy Played the Dobro" by Johnny Cash. I thought I had identified which one it was (there may have been two). Anyway, after the show at midnight, I looked up the definition of dobro in the big unabridged dictionary. Alas, no such word! I checked the Grand Mother's crossword puzzle books -- same result. Finally, I went on the INTERNET to Wikipedia and found a thorough description:

The Dobro is a modified guitar using an inverted concave metalic cone as a resonator on which the bridge is mounted. It is played by picking or strumming the strings which are modified tonewise by a round steel bar that may be plied up and down along the lenth of the neck to produce very harmonic and also wailing sounds.

The name originated in 1928 when the Dopyera brothers formed the Dobro Manufacturing Company. "Dobro" is both a contraction of "Dopyera brothers" and a word meaning "good" in their native Slovak language. An early company motto was "Dobro means good in any language." It was introduced in 1928 by John Dopyera; he and his brother were partners in the company that manufactured it, hence the name, Dobro.

In the end (at midnight) the Grand Mother and Grumpy held each other tightly and after a long kiss, sang Auld Lang Syne -- in two-part harmony, along with the television cast and audience; how touching! With a cheery face like this, can anyone blame Grumpy for still loving her!? And, thank God, she is still mine!!