A Tale of an Old Man -- and Two Young Chicks

In Early August 2012; At Grumpy's Castle --

It might be expected that, after losing one's partner, companion and wife of over 63 years, that an Old Man would seek company to share his lonely life. But what Grumpy undertook may be considered by some to be beyond the pale [Irrevocably unacceptable or unreasonable: e.g., behavior that was quite beyond the pale.]: Two (2) young chicks!!

Cheep (front) and Cheeper (rear)

Now lest any of you females in the Z-clan begin to get any of the wrong idea(s), let me see if this photograph of these two young charmers can clear things up a bit.

As a pair, these two [whom I have, for obvious reasons, named "Cheep" and "Cheeper"] have been perfect companions -- for each other. I could leave them outside in the front yard and go back every fifteen or twenty minutes, and find them partially-hidden back under the plants next to the house. When I called them [by "clucking" like a mother hen] they would "cheep" back to me and move a little bit so I could detect them by their motion. If I kept "clucking", they would come to me and would allow me to pick them up to take them into the house and put them in their box [for the night, or to take with me in the car].

When I was invited to go up to Granite Falls Friday afternoon to enjoy a family "Camp-out" with Grandchildren and Great Grandchildren, I took Cheep and Cheeper with me. They were perfectly happy when released from their box and left to roam free; after all, the Red Rocket was there, a familiar sight, under which for them to hide and to find shade during the heat of the day. When night fell, I simply called them to me, placed them back in their box and placed it in the car.

Poor little Cheep [Andalusian] the day before she disappeared.

On Sunday, when I went to visit Demetria and not wanting to leave them in the car in the shadeless parking lot, I thought to leave them in my front yard where everything was familiar and where they had been happy before -- as a pair. Sadly when I returned, only Cheeper's plaintive cry could be heard in response to my call; Cheep was nowhere to be found -- not a sound or even a sign. I agonized over what could have happened -- and still do not know for sure.

Cheeper -- My friend for life!

Subsequent to the disappearance of Cheep, her buddy Cheeper has become inconsolably attached to me. She even prefers my company to eating and drinking. And I have become more attached to her, and more protective of her than I ever thought possible. She still has to stay in her box -- alone -- at night so we can both get some sleep. But I go out in the front yard occasionally to stand next to her so she will eat and drink water. Otherwise she either roosts on the ledge of the storm-screen door, or she flies up to roost on top of the tool shed or on the utility trailer. [When she starts roosting on top of the Rocket, I will have to find another solution!]

Morning's First Breath -- and a Thoughtful Idea

11 March 2010; Grumpy's Castle in the Morning --

Here it is almost income tax deadline and Grumpy has not had a posting on his BLOG since January! What has been going on? Well, not enough to be worth talking about, I guess; but something came up this morning that inspired me to share. [As a preface to this story, the reader is reminded that Grumpy has been a volunteer driver with Group Health for about a year now, taking elderly or disabled people -- mostly widowed women -- from all over South County to their medical appointments. The First Wife can become wary of a lady who becomes a repeat rider!]

Grumpy usually staggers out to the kitchen in the early morning and hour or so after the First Wife has already been up and laid claim to the morning newspaper and a cozy seat in the dining nook. Grumpy usually comes over to her, mumbling something that might be interpreted as "G'Morn'n", or maybe "Garmin are moaning" -- and rubs the First Wife's back while sneaking a playful hug.

This morning, after the back-rub and playful hug, as Grumpy was making his way back to make the morning pot of fresh-brewed coffee, the First Wife offered this helpful hint: "Don't forget to brush your teeth this morning before you go to pick up 'your Lady' (referring to the rider that Grumpy was scheduled to transport to the downtown Group Health facility); your breath smells strongly of garlic from that Italian salad dressing you had last night!"

Grumpy thought this comment over for a few moments and responded, "A garlic a day keeps the widows away!"

The First Wife maybe reconsidering whether on not she will be reminding Grumpy to brush his teeth anymore on days when he is a volunteer driver.

A Belated Mother's Day

This day was resplendent with Mothers of all ages: Old Mothers, Grand Mothers, Great Grandmothers and New Mothers. Some Mothers were represented more than once on this list -- with the exception of the New Mother category, that is!

A special feature, besides celebrating the Day, that is, was a pair of Lemon Meringue Pies baked especially for Grumpy to insure that he would take the time from his (always!) busy day to take the long and winding road up to the #1 Granddaughter's home. Now, understandably the road can be much shorter and less winding, but that's only if Grumpy would only refer to his beloved GPS before he winds up on a dead-end street leading into a cul-de-sac.

The Grand Mother and Grumpy arrived at the festivities at approximately noon this past Sunday. Right on time, naturally -- and despite Grumpy's wandering about the neighborhood in search of "the road". Greeted at the door by two small Great Grandsons, Malachi and Amos, we were welcomed in, carrying the Grand Mother's gifts for the younger Mothers, as well as "surprise" gifts for each of the anticipated Great Grandgirls, Emileigh, Gracie-Mae and Elianna, as well as the host Great Grandboys, Malachi and Amos.

Soon a hearty meal was served and, after a "round table" blessing, orchestrated by young Malachi, we all ate and talked -- in that order. After filling our tummies completely adequately we were challenged with the offering of (not one but) two Lemon Meringue Pies!! Now Grumpy has never been one to turn down a Lemon Meringue Pie -- no matter how well he has previously been fed!

Some troubling negotiations immediately began between Grumpy and Malachi concerning who would NOT get the entirety of one whole Lemon Meringue Pie. Grumpy was, of course, of the firm opinion that the pie set in front of him, was intended only for himself. Grumpy finally conceded that a stomach ache would result if he ate the whole thing and so it was determined that it would be shared by all.

These were no ordinary, run-of-the-mill Lemon Meringue Pies, mind you! No sirree Bob!! These were made with love by Grandma Ducky, using goose eggs, duck eggs and with whole wheat for the crust. Why both goose eggs and duck eggs you ask? Well, according to the story overheard by Grumpy (he's awfully hard of hearing, you know!), the goose egg yolks were so big that when the peanut butter was added to the mixture with the lemon juice, corn starch, sugar and vinegar (see also http://www.lemonpiez.com/), the whole kit and kaboodle curdled, so Grandma Ducky threw out the whole double-batch of filling that she had mixed up and started over with duck eggs instead. This resulted in there being twice as much egg white as would normally be the case, so the finished pies had meringue that reached almost to the ceiling!! Why, Grumpy could hardly believe his eyes! Unfortunately, Grumpy was so overwhelmed by the enormity of the pies that he forgot to photograph these phenomena before he ate them -- well, most of them. Here is a photo of what was left of one of them. Grumpy was supposed to get to take the rest home with him, but a certain Son-in-Law stole into the kitchen while his "Keeper" was occupied elsewhere, and -- well you can see what happened.

(I hope he got a stomach ache!-- signed, Grumpy)

Lemon Meringue Pie Revisited (Originally posted 18 June 2007)

[Ed. note: For reasons unknown to Grumpy, the photos of the Lemon Meringue Pies, originally a part of the June posting, disappeared. Maybe the INTERNET ate them! -- they did look and in fact were delicious!! So, anyway, since I found the photos again, I am taking the liberty of reposting this story -- maybe some more real LMP's will magically appear! Heh! heh!]

As the reader will no doubt remember, the probability of a Lemon Meringue Pie (hereinafter, LMP) appearing in the castle of the Great Grumpy Z was forecast recently [Ed: back in June -- and now in August the forecast has been reaffirmed] as "never again". Now this would probably be to the longer life benefit of the Great Grumpy, but tastebuds never forget that delicious aroma and the mouth-watering flavor of the Grand Mother's (aka, First Wife's) LMP. So any reprieve is always welcomed by the Great Grumpy!

It was therefore somewhat of a surprise to the Great Grumpy, when he noted the preparations for making of LMP in the Grand Mother's kitchen this past Saturday. Unwittingly, the Great Grumpy uttered some phrase or word which instantly illicited the Grand Mother's infamous pronouncement: "OK, that's it!!" [Ed.Note1:--This phrase usually means that a penalty is about to follow.] She continued, "I was going to make you a LMP, but now you can forget it!!" [Ed. Note 2: -- Forget it? Forget it? How could anyone forget the LMP of the Grand Mother!?]

But, with all the cleverness developed through my vast experience in understanding the Grand Mother, the Great Grumpy meekly acknowledged his wrong-doing (unintended though it was!), pleaded for forgiveness (which was summarily rejected, as usual) and stood by to assist the Grand Mother in anyway she might desire.

Her first request was to be taken to the grocery store for "some supplies, and I'm going to get what I want and I don't want any comments out of you!", she stated emphatically. As I always(?) try to do, I obeyed immediately, opening the car door and holding it as I "usually" do, but this time making a special effort not to slam it closed until she had her leg inside.

As I was helping put away the groceries upon returning home, I noted three (3) lemons. "What are the lemons for?" I asked, smugly aware that three lemons happens to be the exact amount required to make the famous LMP. I had her trapped! I had won!!

Her reply, however, shocked me out of my sensibilities, "I'm going to bake a LMP for Harry!"

Now I was aware that our oldest son, Ward Harry, was to be in the Pacific Northwest the week of 9-12 July 2007. I also was aware that a LMP does not keep well -- at least around here! -- for more than three or four days, at the most. I rather haughtily explained this to her, with the added comment that "they don't keep in the freezer, either!"

Undaunted, the Grand Mother put me in my place with, "Just you wait and see!" I retreated to the background while she wielded the rolling pin -- she was using it on the pie dough, but you can never tell what might happen if a Norwegian with a rolling pin gets upset at you!

I tried to soothe her hurt feelings and get myself back in her good graces by de-zesting the lemons and squeezing the juice from them. I even rinsed and drained the juicer, and, as is my habit, more or less followed her instructions as to how it should properly be done.

A couple hours later, the Grand Mother called me to the kitchen. She pointed to the two pies which had been out of the oven just long enough to cool down sufficiently to cut a piece. I thought she was going to forgive me and beg me to eat one of them right then and there! I was elated.

Instead, she asked, "Please, could you get a picture of these pies? I think they are especially beautiful, don't you? See how that meringue stands up! Don't you think that one on the left looks like a flower?" As I was taking the pictures, the Grand Mother was getting out the dessert plates and glasses, and the milk to drink with the LMP.

What a memorable day!!

But what a miserable night -- note the vanquished pie -- it was a two-Tums stomach ache that night. The Great Grumpy can never exercise moderation when it comes to eating the Grand Mother's Lemon Meringue Pie.

The Flight Home to Seattle

It was to be a late night when we were to get into Seattle after our scheduled departure at 3:55 pm from Reagan International Airport in Washington DC. Only our scheduled flight from Reagan was already cancelled when we checked in at about 1:30 pm. We were soon rebooked on another flight, this one via Atlanta for a departure at about the same time. However, as the time grew near, we were first informed that it would be delayed and then, "flight cancelled"! Again we were rebooked, for a later flight that same night; the passengers milling about grew restless. Was an uprising about to happen? (I was reminded of the spectacle of all those women (who were lucky to be chosen by one of us Zimmermen) who staged that "foot down" strike at the classical Z-pose picture-taking session a few days before. See picture series on side-bar.)

Would this lone male representative of the Z clan who happened to be here on this fateful day be able to help quell what seemed certain to degenerate into a war of some kind?

But I was premature in my worries; ultimately, the "last flight of the night" was also cancelled (all late arrivals and cancelled flights were due to heavy weather in and around Washington DC).

It was definitely better to be waiting on the ground that to be tossed around in an airplane battling tornadic winds and sheets of rain! We were rebooked on "the earliest available flight" the next day -- leaving Reagan at 11:55 am.

The Grand Mother and Grumpy decided early on NOT to call our recent host and hostess. They had already made four (4) trips between their estate out on the inner Maryland peninsula and Reagan airport. The distance, although about 40-50 miles, was secondary: the traffic was the worst Grumpy has ever seen! At least, the traffic in Los Angeles, which was usually bumper-to-bumper, moved -- at 60-70 mph! Gulp!!

We finally arrived home at about 6:30 pm, tired, sweaty, stinky and sleepy (after spending 18 hours lolling in the airport at Reagan). We had missed a much-anticipated re-union lunch with some old friends. But we looked forward to arising early Saturday morning to go watch our youngest son play left-center outfielder for his softball team. More about that in a later post.

Celebration Day in Maryland Part Two (The Best Part!)

The combined celebration of the birthdays of Grumpy (the Elder) and Ward (Not-so-Old) was the occasion for which this event took place. As told in an earlier post, much careful preparation had taken place, what with the emergency trip to the grocery store for needed supplies and the lighting of the charcoal pyre over which to "cook" (or incinerate) the meats from three of four different animals (apologies, again, to my vegetarian readers -- if any are still reading my posts!).

It is time now for the good parts: viewing the cooking meats and of the assembled guests; all of them Zimmerman's, as you may observe from looking closely at their facial similarities. As the careful observer will note in this next photo, there was a certain degree of domestic rebellion and some apparent collusion going on by the lucky wife of Not-so-Old when it came time for the photos to be taken of the wives who were lucky enough to be chosen by the afore-pictured Zimmerman men. One (namely, the Grand Mother of several), was particularly rebellious! But more about that later.

The meats on the grill were more appetizing than could be imagined by viewing the photo; some were treated to a special coating of a secret not-so-old family recipe mixed up for the occasion by none other than Not-so-Old himself.

The meats are identified as: two pork loins (perhaps both from one animal), two whole chickens (most probably two different-, i.e., not Siamese-chickens) and one whole bottom round beef roast (part of only one animal). [Editor's note, for the benefit of those who may have never seen such huge pieces of meat: the whole chickens can be identified by the fact that they have appendages called "legs" and "wings" attached; the pork loins can be identified by being long and slimy-looking -- not to be confused with "fish" or "snake"; the beef bottom round roast can be identified by its being HUGE]

Now, since this was a "Birthday" celebration, obviously there had to be "Birthday" cakes, so here is the one custom designed for Not-so-Old. As the reader may note by careful observation, the number inscribed thereon in green icing indicates that Not-so-Old, is actually "quite" old, indeed! (58?? Can it be that long since Grumpy was kept awake all night the first night he was brought home by the Grand Mother?!) Ah, pleasant memories.

Since the assemblage included those who prefer "yellow" cakes as well as those who prefer "chocolate" cakes, there had to be two more, shown here in color. The "yellow" cake was ostensibly in honor of Grumpy's 80th birthday and the "chocolate" cake was in honor of Not-so-Old's 58th. The wording on these two cakes ("Happy Birthday Ward") was duplicated because it cost less to have the same on both cakes rather than have them different. Or so we thought!

Now to the matter previously mentioned concerning the rebellion of a certain member of the Zimmerman clan. As can be seen in this photograph, some disciplinary measures had to be taken to overcome this short-lived rebellion. The reader is directed to the lucky wife on the left, who it is sad to say, appears to be considering rebellion in the future -- her husband is urged to watch for further signs and to take necessary measures to insure that this does not progress. (His penalties for doing so, however, will be his own responsibility -- Grumpy will not assume any blame for difficulties a certain Grandson finds himself in!)

Also, it must be added, "certain" penalties were incurred by Grumpy -- the exact identity of which shall remain undisclosed for the time being, but it involves the use of lemons and eggs and certain other secret ingredients known only to the Grand Mother, but allegedly including Worstershire sauce and vinegar.

Due, we think, to the uprising promulgated by the Grand Mother and her female gang of co-conspirators, photos of the Great Grandsons aligned in the traditional fashion were not possible at this time. Hopefully they will appear in a later posting.

The Lemon Meringue Pie

As the reader will no doubt remember, the probability of a Lemon Meringue Pie (hereinafter, LMP) appearing in the castle of the Great Grumpy Z was forecast recently as "never again". Now this would probably be to the longer life benefit of the Great Grumpy, but tastebuds never forget that delicious aroma and the mouth-watering flavor of the Grand Mother's (aka, First Wife's) LMP. So any reprieve is always welcomed by the Great Grumpy!

It was therefore somewhat of a surprise to the Great Grumpy, when he noted the preparations for making of LMP in the Grand Mother's kitchen this past Saturday. Unwittingly, the Great Grumpy uttered some phrase or word which instantly illicited the Grand Mother's infamous pronouncement: "OK, that's it!!" (Ed.Note1:--This phrase usually means that a penalty is about to follow.) She continued, "I was going to make you a LMP, but now you can forget it!!" (Ed. Note 2: -- Forget it? Forget it? How could anyone forget the LMP of the Grand Mother!?)

But, with all the cleverness developed through my vast experience in understanding the Grand Mother, the Great Grumpy meekly acknowledged his wrong-doing (unintended though it was!), pleaded for forgiveness (which was summarily rejected, as usual) and stood by to assist the Grand Mother in anyway she might desire.

Her first request was to be taken to the grocery store for "some supplies, and I'm going to get what I want and I don't want any comments out of you!", she stated emphatically. As I always(?) try to do, I obeyed immediately, opening the car door and holding it as I "usually" do, but this time making a special effort not to slam it closed until she had her leg inside.

As I was helping put away the groceries upon returning home, I noted three (3) lemons. "What are the lemons for?" I asked, smugly aware that three lemons happens to be the exact amount required to make the famous LMP. I had her trapped! I had won!!

Her reply, however, shocked me out of my sensibilities, "I'm going to bake a LMP for Harry!"

Now I was aware that our oldest son, Ward Harry, was to be in the Pacific Northwest the week of 9-12 July 2007. I also was aware that a LMP does not keep well -- at least around here! -- for more than three or four days, at the most. I rather haughtily explained this to her, with the added comment that "they don't keep in the freezer, either!"

Undaunted, the Grand Mother put me in my place with, "Just you wait and see!" I retreated to the background while she wielded the rolling pin -- she was using it on the pie dough, but you can never tell what might happen if a Norwegian with a rolling pin gets upset at you!

I tried to soothe her hurt feelings and get myself back in her good graces by de-zesting the lemons and squeezing the juice from them. I even rinsed and drained the juicer, and, as is my habit, more or less followed her instructions as to how it should properly be done.

A couple hours later, the Grand Mother called me to the kitchen. She pointed to the two pies which had been out of the oven just long enough to cool down sufficiently to cut a piece. I thought she was going to forgive me and beg me to eat one of them right then and there! I was elated.

Instead, she asked, "Please, could you get a picture of these pies? I think they are especially beautiful, don't you? See how that meringue stands up! Don't you think that one on the left looks like a flower?" As I was taking the pictures, the Grand Mother was getting out the dessert plates and glasses, and the milk to drink with the LMP.

What a memorable day!!

But what a miserable night -- note the vanquished pie -- it was a two-Tums stomach ache that night. The Great Grumpy can never exercise moderation when it comes to eating the Grand Mother's Lemon Meringue Pie.

The Grand Mother and the First Wife

Due to the use on these pages of the titles "Grand Mother" and, more recently, "First Wife", it seems prudent to clarify the differences and similarities regarding these two persons.

Pictured at right is the Grand Mother; she may be characterized as being partial (even biased!) in favor of any and all Grand Children. I think this may also include Great Grand Children like the one she is holding, although none of the Great Grand Children have yet reached the point where they point out the failures and foibles of the Great Grand Father (aka, Great Grumpy Z) to the Grand Mother. On the other hand, the Grand Children seem to delight in getting their Grand Father into this sort of maximum mayhem so that she either threatens to "get the pan" (as in frying pan!!) or makes the ultimate threat of "no Lemon Meringue Pie -- forever!!!". (A very long time, in case anyone is keeping track!)

Next we come to the "First Wife" (see woman in photo at left, standing next to that handsome older gentleman). There have been rumors -- unfounded, of course, that the Great Grumpy has had his eyes on a Red-head if anything should happen to the First Wife. Now, seeing this lovely woman, why would any man in his right mind even THINK of substituting any other for this prize!?

However, this unfounded rumor has resulted in the heartless committment by said First Wife to "never reveal the secrets for the making of the Lemon Meringue Pie", lest the Great Grumpy continue to be able to relish this delicacy after the First Wife is gone. Although the Great Grumpy has reassured First Wife of his dedication to her health and happiness forever (until death do us part, or maybe when we are both over 100 years old and neither of us can remember who the other one is anyway -- or at least until she REALLY stops making those Lemon Meringue Pies), she has remained skeptical such that when she seemingly weakened the other day and started giving the recipe to the Great Grumpy, she suddenly began inserting ingredients such as "vinegar", household lye and other such "secret herbs and spices". That's when the Great Grumpy realized she was SERIOUS!!

Now, a word of wisdom to the younger set out there from the Sage of Seattle, the Philosopher from Philip, the Oracle of the Oldies, the Great Grumpy Z: Be careful what you say and do around your wife! Especially when your grandchildren are around -- they seem to delight in pointing out the weaknesses and sins of their grandfather. And don't experiment with new recipes or variations (such as adding peanut butter on Lemon Meringue Pie -- by the way, just between you and me, it adds a mysterious new flavor!!) of your wife's special treats that she prepares with loving hands for you. No, leave all the experiments to the bride; the husband is to taste and praise but not to modify or suggest.

But in NO case does, has or will the Great Grumpy have eyes for a Red-head.