The Grand Mother and the First Wife

Due to the use on these pages of the titles "Grand Mother" and, more recently, "First Wife", it seems prudent to clarify the differences and similarities regarding these two persons.

Pictured at right is the Grand Mother; she may be characterized as being partial (even biased!) in favor of any and all Grand Children. I think this may also include Great Grand Children like the one she is holding, although none of the Great Grand Children have yet reached the point where they point out the failures and foibles of the Great Grand Father (aka, Great Grumpy Z) to the Grand Mother. On the other hand, the Grand Children seem to delight in getting their Grand Father into this sort of maximum mayhem so that she either threatens to "get the pan" (as in frying pan!!) or makes the ultimate threat of "no Lemon Meringue Pie -- forever!!!". (A very long time, in case anyone is keeping track!)

Next we come to the "First Wife" (see woman in photo at left, standing next to that handsome older gentleman). There have been rumors -- unfounded, of course, that the Great Grumpy has had his eyes on a Red-head if anything should happen to the First Wife. Now, seeing this lovely woman, why would any man in his right mind even THINK of substituting any other for this prize!?

However, this unfounded rumor has resulted in the heartless committment by said First Wife to "never reveal the secrets for the making of the Lemon Meringue Pie", lest the Great Grumpy continue to be able to relish this delicacy after the First Wife is gone. Although the Great Grumpy has reassured First Wife of his dedication to her health and happiness forever (until death do us part, or maybe when we are both over 100 years old and neither of us can remember who the other one is anyway -- or at least until she REALLY stops making those Lemon Meringue Pies), she has remained skeptical such that when she seemingly weakened the other day and started giving the recipe to the Great Grumpy, she suddenly began inserting ingredients such as "vinegar", household lye and other such "secret herbs and spices". That's when the Great Grumpy realized she was SERIOUS!!

Now, a word of wisdom to the younger set out there from the Sage of Seattle, the Philosopher from Philip, the Oracle of the Oldies, the Great Grumpy Z: Be careful what you say and do around your wife! Especially when your grandchildren are around -- they seem to delight in pointing out the weaknesses and sins of their grandfather. And don't experiment with new recipes or variations (such as adding peanut butter on Lemon Meringue Pie -- by the way, just between you and me, it adds a mysterious new flavor!!) of your wife's special treats that she prepares with loving hands for you. No, leave all the experiments to the bride; the husband is to taste and praise but not to modify or suggest.

But in NO case does, has or will the Great Grumpy have eyes for a Red-head.