Joys -- and Tribulations of Having a Grandson Around

Any day last week; Grumpy's Castle --

Well, being a Grandpa is oft-times a joy -- and always a blessing. After all, only a Grandpa has the opportunity to opine about the "good ol' days" with nary a soul to dispute him [well, maybe the Grand Mother, who was also there.] Only a Grandpa can mutter with all sincerity and innocence, "Why, the kids in my day wouldn't even think of doing such a thing (or things, as the case may be); what in thunderation has come over this younger generation!!??" Only a Grandpa can pontificate about any subject with some authority and get at least a modicum of respect -- or so it appears.

But this post is about an example of some of the tribulations up with which a Grandpa must put. So on with the story:

The other evening at dinner, Grumpy was thinking about how frightening it must be for his 14 year-old youngest and Resident Grandson to be fawned over by a gaggle of 13-15 year-old girls. [Grumpy well remembers his 14 year-old self being left completely alone as far as girls were concerned. It was as though he didn't exist -- such peace and quiet.] So, in trying to be helpful and constructive, Grumpy suggested to the Resident Grandson, "Do you want me to help you with your GIRL problem?"

• "I don't have a GIRL problem!", asserted the Resident Grandson.

Grumpy thought about the many possible meanings of this retort: Could it be that the RG has finally found the answer to getting rid of that bevy of girls!? [He hadn't been taking a shower every day as the Grand Mother had suggested.] But, having been so summarily dismissed as not being needed, Grumpy thought to let the matter lie. Instead, Grumpy continued his usual banter with the Grand Mother -- said banter invariably getting Grumpy into deeper and deeper trouble -- trouble from which Grumpy never can seem to extricate himself.

After several minutes during which the Grand Mother was reaching the detonation point where she utters those most-feared words, "OK!! That's it!! No more Lemon Meringue Pie --- FOREVER!!!!", the RG enters the conversation, pointing at Grumpy with this unforgettable phrase:

• "Do you need help with your GIRL problem?"

Such is life in Grumpy's Castle these days -- with no relief in sight!