Replacement Wife

Monday Morning; Grumpy's Castle --
No, Grumpy is NOT -- repeat, NOT -- looking for a wife to replace the First Wife. This is a story of how an idle conversation between two long-time lovers can sometimes turn humorous. And maybe even get Grumpy into trouble!

The Grand Mother and Grumpy will have been married 61 years come this 17th of June. During that time Grumpy has been faithful and true to this, his only true love, but some family jokes (on the Noble side, Grumpy insists) have sometimes alluded to the "Red-headed" replacement wife -- in case of an early demise of the First Wife, of course. Now it is true that Grumpy has, on occasion, remarked to the First Wife about the unique attractiveness of one or two singularly conspicuous red-heads. These innocent remarks by Grumpy became the motivation for the First Wife to deny sharing her incomparably delicious Lemon Meringue Pie recipe with Grumpy because, as she so vehemently asserted, "You just want it so you can give it to your next, Red-headed wife!"

This morning, in the course of discussing the wisdom of the First Wife having chosen Grumpy to be her husband, she opined about how important it was to think about all of the attributes of a potential mate before making the decision to get married. As an example, she noted the skillful driving ability she had observed as a young girl while going steady with Grumpy. She also admitted to a couple of her genetic characteristics which Grumpy has reworded for clarification and lists here, namely: 1) Being English and therefore slow to get my jokes, and, 2) Being Norwegian and therefore reticent to admit that I am always right.

And so, grinning impishly, she said, "Those are some things you should think about before you choose your next, Red-headed wife!"

Grumpy laughed, but denied having any such thoughts. Nonetheless he immediately realized that his future would remain without Lemon Meringue Pies. Maybe he shouldn't have laughed the way he did.